In today’s world where divorces and breakups are normal events, dating someone despite having a partner is very normal among couples. Sometimes relationships become emotional rollercoasters with lots of complexity and mixed signals that confuse someone about his/her existing relationship status.
Understanding the dynamics of a complex relationship and learning the true meanings of mixed signals can solve most of these problems. Still, individuals lacking experience and understanding prefer to search for love somewhere else.
Here we discuss the reasons and the solutions to why your partner is dating someone else despite having a relationship with you.
7 Reasons Why Your Partner is Dating Someone Else:
When your romantic partner is dating someone else it becomes a very painful experience and difficult to accept. But if you understand why your partner is doing so despite having a relationship with you, it’ll help you find a solution.
Fear Of Commitments:
There is a very high chance that your partner has strong feelings about you but he/she is not ready yet to make a serious commitment to you. The fear of committing is not necessarily due to a lack of feelings but often emerges from past experiences, trust issues, and lack of vulnerability.
Thus, many people prefer to date someone who prefers a less serious and flexible relationship. A flexible relationship allows individuals to escape from the risks of serious commitments and emotional burdens.
Mixed Feelings:
Sometimes people are not sure about the true nature of their feelings about their partners. This results in mixed feelings and uncertainty and the person feels uncomfortable to share their vision and future with you.
Such mixed feelings sometimes encourage people to try new short-term relationships. Through these short-term relationships, they try to understand whether their partner’s feelings for them are true.
Hence, dating someone else sometimes encourages people to make significant decisions about their existing relationships.
Fear Of Loneliness:
Many people are afraid of breaking up with their partner and feel lonely. Hence, they try to date others while they are in a relationship to keep an option open if things don’t work out as predicted. Sometimes people think too much commitment to their partner can lead to breaking the relationship, that’s why they date others to keep their feelings normal for their partners.
Having another relationship offers individuals a sense of emotional security and backup that allows individuals to make brave decisions in a relationship and protest against any wrongdoing by their partner. However, it also depends on how honest the person is or how pure his/her intention for the relationship.
Social Pressure:
Social and external pressures also play vital roles in shaping our dating lives. External factors such as family, friends, and societies often pressure individuals to date the best-suited person according to them despite he/she has an existing relationship.
When external or societal pressure is prevalent, individuals often fear judgment and criticism. Hence, they try to date someone who is better fit and socially accepted to align with societal norms.
Convenience:
Sometimes partner can’t maintain a close and deep relationship with another partner. The reasons could be their conflicting work schedule, lifestyle, locations, etc. Such issues often create a boundary between partners and restrain them from effective communication.
In such a situation, the partners feel lonely despite having relationships and they try to find love and support from somewhere else. This often allows a third person to enter into the relationship which is not welcomed by the other partner.
Self Discovery:
Maybe your partner is in a phase of self-discovery where they want to discover more about themselves such as their preferences, desires, and needs. Dating someone else other than your partner can enrich their experience about themselves and their relationship needs and requirements.
Such self-discovery not only focuses on their relationship status or preferences but also their career, emotional and mental growth, etc. However, it is questionable whether dating another person after cheating on their existing partner is necessary for self-discovery.
Lack Of Chemistry:
The most common reasons why someone date another person despite having an existing relationship, is lack of chemistry between both partners. Sometimes, they are not aware of how much their actions will impact their partners, and sometimes their partners fail to understand their needs.
The complex and mixed signals are often difficult to interpret or understand by another partner especially when the bonding between them is weak. Clear and effective communication without any fear can solve the issue easily.
Additionally, some people date only for fun. They are neither serious nor committed to someone special. They don’t care about their partners’ feelings and are always open to creating new relationships with others to explore more romance. You can check your partner’s history and behavior to understand your partner falls into that category.
6 Tips Will Help You To Understand Your Partner Is Dating Someone Else:
It becomes often challenging to find out if your partner is dating someone else. Depending on the nature of their relationship and other factors, the signs of cheating may vary. Here are some strategies that will help you to find out if your partner is loyal to you or if he/she is dating someone else behind your back.
Observing Their Behaviour:
If your partner shows conflicting behavior such as at one moment he/she showers you with love and affection and the next moment he/she withdraws all of his attention from you and becomes indifferent. Such a situation arises if you are dating a psychopath or if your partner is emotionally unstable and not sure about his/her future with you.
Always pay attention to the communication behavior of your partner. If your partner only engages with you at a specific time in a day sporadically and during other times despite being free ignores you, provides a strong sign that maybe he is busy with someone else.
Additionally, if your partner becomes reticent about his/her whereabouts, avoids certain topics and questions, and hides his/her social media activities and presence from you, then he/she might prevent you from discovering his/her new affairs.
Analyzing Phone and Social Media:
Frequently changing relationship status on social media like Facebook or posts that feature another opposite-gender person could indicate that he/she might have some affairs with that person.
Search for tagged photos, comments, and conversations with others as it might show some indication of who is your partner’s close friend or potential partner.
However, it is not a definitive sign that your partner is dating someone else but it has the potential to find out if there is any kind of affairs present between your partner and a third person.
Changes In Availability:
If your partner becomes suddenly unavailable to you especially when you need them the most, it might show your partner has lost interest in you and probably he/she is dating someone else.
Frequent last-minute cancellations and vague excuses to avoid you somehow indicate he/she has other priorities that are more important than you.
If your partner is not keen to introduce you to his/her family or friends and maintains secrecy about certain parts of his/her life shows he/she might be hiding some secrets or other relationships from you.
Evaluate Emotional Connection:
Suppose you feel your partner is not emotionally invested in you and avoids deep conversations about the future. In that case, there is a high chance that he/she is unsure about the future of the relationship.
If your partner is not fully attentive to you and creates distance from you suddenly, it indicates that he/she is emotionally conflicted. In such a situation, one may search for some love and confidence from another partner.
Direct Attack:
If you are suspicious that your partner is dating someone else, it’s better to ask them directly. Direct conversations will clear lots of issues and misunderstandings as you don’t need to assume the situation anymore.
Ask your partner about his/her feelings and whether he/she is interested in someone else. Tell your partner how his/her actions and changed behavior make you nervous and ask for clarification in an honest conversation.
Look at your partner’s expression and behavior when you bring out the topic in front of your partner and also check how your partner tackles this issue. If your partner is defensive, gives a vague explanation, or shows an evasive tendency, it somehow means your partner is hiding something from you.
Seek Help:
If you are unable to find any clue that your partner is cheating on you then seek external help such as talking to mutual friends who can provide you with some insights about your partner’s behavior and relationship status.
While seeking external help, be very careful otherwise it’ll create a hefty amount of drama and eventually your relationship with your partner will be broken.
You can also seek help from a professional relationship counselor and therapist about the situation and your partner’s behavior. They can guide you on what is the right thing to do in such a situation.
The above-written signs and strategies can help you get clarity about your partner but careful observations and open communication will help you to clarify things. During this time also focus on your emotional and overall well-being.
7 Best Solutions To Deal With The Situation:
Finding your partner is dating someone else, which brings very complicated and disappointing feelings to humans. During this time, it is very important to focus on your overall well-being and make correct decisions about your relationship and life. Here are 7 best solutions you can try in such a situation:
Stay Calm:
The initial reaction is often very emotional and sometimes it becomes very rude to the partner. Before expressing your feelings or thoughts to your partner, give yourself some time to adjust and calm yourself down.
Sometimes, emotions and anger can overturn the situation and make it even worse. Hence, give yourself some time, analyze the situation without being emotional, and then take your next step.
Verify Your Doubts:
Before confronting your partner, make sure you have enough evidence to support your doubts. Jumping to an unnecessary conclusion can end your relationship which could be fixed and will create conflicts.
Keep records of instances and events that make you doubt your partner. It’ll help you to prove your stance strongly if your partner tries to fool you with false arguments.
Listen To Your Partner:
Despite your anger and disappointment, you just need to give your partner a chance to explain his/her sides. Maybe your partner had no other choice but to accept that situation. If there is any kind of misunderstanding, you can clear it through this activity.
While talking about your doubts, pay attention to your partner’s body language, and voice consistency, and maintain eye contact with him/her. This will help you to understand whether your partner is telling you the truth.
Analyze The Situation:
Before making any extreme decisions, you must evaluate whether the trust and relationship can be built again. If you believe the relationship is completely broken or destroyed, it is very difficult to restore.
Additionally, analyze if a breakup will affect your well-being or if there are any other sustainable solutions. Sometimes, people feel better about staying in the relationship and try to build it again which is also a good idea depending on the situation.
Set Boundaries:
Whatever your decision is, maintain a clear boundary with your partner to keep your privacy and move forward. Creating a boundary often discourages your partner from making more mistakes.
If you have decided to continue the relationship, discuss those underlying issues that created the problems before and find their solution with mutual agreement. Take a break from your relationship and analyze the current status of your love life.
In case, you feel the trust is completely broken and it cannot be fixed again, it is better to end the relationship and focus on yourself. Extending a broken relationship forcefully can only bring turmoil in your life.
Consult To Therapist:
If you need support in this situation, feel free to talk about this with your close friends and family members who will provide you with proper emotional support, new perspectives, and directions.
If you are completely broken from the inside, you can visit a therapist or counselor and talk to that person about your situation. They can show you the right direction in which you need to work and regain your confidence.
Focus On Mental Health:
During this situation, you cannot ignore self-care and focus on mental health. Engaging in activities that comfort you such as singing, drawing, dancing, painting, etc, will bring joy and allow you to relax.
Allow yourself to heal from the bad situation and do things that will boost your confidence. Healing may take some time but you need to be positive about your abilities and other aspects of your life. Having good mental health is beneficial to tackle bad times in your life.
Dealing with a partner who is dating someone else can be very challenging. With proper preparation, communication, and decision-making you can again make yourself a happy person.
Also Read: 7 Purposes Of Dating You Must Know
Also Read: Top 7 Benefits And Challenges of Dating Someone From Another Country
It’s wonderful article. I was trying to understand why partner left me, I thought its due to no reason. But after reading your article I understand why it is so. I am glad to find this website. Keep up good work. Your sincerely Reyhan