Breakup and divorce are the two most unfortunate incidents in someone’s life. Many young, even mature people cannot get over these incidents despite knowing they can overcome them.
But have you ever wondered why these breakups or divorces cause so much pain and trouble? Is it only a natural mental and emotional pain or are there some scientific facts associated with the pain? Let’s find out:
7 Reasons Why Breakups And Divorce Are Very Painful:
Breakup and divorce are often painful to anyone because they not only cause heartbreak but also cause dreams to fall apart. Couples spend years together to build some dreams and desires and such heartbreaks destroy those dreams in a few moments.
Emotional And Physical Pain:
Breakups and divorces are not only emotionally painful but also physically. The intensity of the pain depends on how our brain processes the rejection and betrayal from our close people.
According to Ethan Kross et Al., the same portion of the human brain that functions during physical pain, i.e.; the secondary somatosensory cortex and the dorsal posterior insula, are also activated during emotional pains such as heartbreaks.
However, the nature of both pains is different but our brains similarly treat both of them. We need to be careful during this time to avoid any kind of mental harm as it can be as serious as physical injury.
Losing Attachments:
Humans form strong attachments to those people who give them some care, love, and attention similarly a child creates a strong bond with his mother. When a relationship is destroyed, emotional and spiritual attachment to that person also gets harmed.
People often get anxious about their future without their romantic partner with whom they have made a lot of promises and desires. Hence, often they take extreme steps to save the relationship which later causes even more pain.
According to various studies, people who create over-possessive bonds with their partners tend to have more chances for breakups and divorces. Thus people with more emotional attachments are most likely to have more emotional distress in post-breakup scenarios.
Neurochemistry:
Romantic relationships also help extract feel-good hormones such as dopamine, oxytocin, and serotonin. Dopamine is especially involved in the brain’s reward system and creates delighted feelings when you are in a healthy relationship.
When the relationship is somehow damaged, the production of those feel-good hormones gets affected and the sudden loss of those hormones feels like withdrawal from drugs and realizing the reality.
According to the Journal of Neurobiology, brain scans of individuals who recently experienced a heartbreak such as a breakup or a divorce, have shown influence in the same region that controls addiction, cravings, and desires. Thus, after a breakup, many people experience that they are deprived of some addiction that is giving them pleasure.
Impacts Self-Esteem:
Breakup and divorce can impact and shutter someone’s self-esteem and identity to a large extent. Many people create their own identity and self-concept around being someone’s partner, spouse, and friend. When the relationship is dismissed, it results in questioning and doubting their identities and existences.
It is also known as “self-expansion” where people want to integrate with their partner’s identity and desire to enhance their potential efficacy. Losing a part of their identity or attitude definitely can hurt anyone, especially if that person was beneficial to your life, identity, or social standards.
Loss Of Dreams:
In a relationship, couples dream and plan a shared future together and work to achieve that goal. With the breaking down of the relationship, not only their mental and psychological conditions are harmed but also the dreams and plans they shared get diminished.
Couples, especially those in a long-term relationship, tend to plan a future and family together. Most of their job and lifestyles is based on the aim of fulfilling those requirements for the future.
When the relationship falls apart, long-term plans become meaningless as one of the partners moves toward another direction. Failing of any plans, desires, or wishes for any person who is craving for it, is very painful.
The Impact Of Rejection:
For many people, it is very difficult to accept rejection, especially from their romantic partners. Rejections in the form of divorce or breakup instill self-doubt and anxiety among individuals, which also harms their professional lives.
When someone is rejected it leads to a deep-rooted unworthiness or not being good enough feelings among individuals. This impact is so harmful and deep-rooted that people feel underconfident in the workplace doing the same work that he has been doing for years.
Research also shows that people who suffer rejection in romance often tend to be depressed and some of them are more focused on revenge. Such behavior and attitude push people into big trouble that not only disrupt their peace but also their emotional and mental well-being.
Depression And Anxiety:
Depression and anxiety can hurt anyone and people often feel sad and painful while they survive this stage. For many people, especially younger ones, sudden breakups result in depression and anxiety which is very difficult to control.
According to some studies, 20% of people who suffered a breakup or divorce are at a higher risk of developing depression in the coming weeks. It also has a negative impact on food habits, sleeping patterns, behavior, and addictions.
Breakups and divorces are always sensitive topics and painful to individuals as it is a mixture of emotional, psychological, and physical sensations. In the end, we can advise you to analyze your relationship because not every relationship lasts forever. Maybe you can find a more compatible person for you after the heartbreak.
Also Read: 8 Proven Tips To Accept Breakups, Divorce, And Heartbreaks
Also Read: 6 Disadvantages of Filing For Divorce First
