7 Reasons Why Dating A Felon Is A Bad Idea With Solutions

Crime rates in the world have rapidly increased over the years. In countries like Venezuela, Papua New Guinea, Afghanistan, and Haiti the crime rate is extremely high and the crime index is about 80, which is not welcome in any civilized world.

Even developed countries like the United States of America, the United Kingdom, and Canada are not left behind. In the USA the numbers of violent crimes are 380.7 and property crimes are 1954.4 per 100,000 population. However, in the United Kingdom, the crime rate was approximately 8.2% in June 2024. 

Hence, dating a felon is nothing surprising nowadays, especially in a world where crime rates are skyrocketing. Even many people want to date a felon to experience a unique and complex experience and control the power and wealth that the criminal possesses without doing any crime. 

Suppose you are in such a relationship or deciding to have one. In that case, this article will help you make the right decisions by providing proper knowledge about the challenges and risks associated with dating a criminal. 

Everything You Should Know Before Dating A Felon:

Who Is A Felon?

A felon is a criminal who is convicted of serious crimes such as murder, rape, robbery, drug trafficking, etc. Such heinous crimes are classified as felonies and the person associated with those crimes is known as a felon. 

According to laws in many countries, a person who has served at least one year in prison and his offense can lead to a longer prison life, he/she is termed as a felon. Felons often struggle to find social rights, employment, and a healthy life. 

Despite such enormous challenges, many criminals dream of living a normal life like everyone else but unfortunately, their numbers are very low. It is not that they don’t want to live a normal life, but their pasts always hunt them and that causes lots of hindrance to normalcy. 

Are Criminals Dangerous For Relationships?

Criminals, especially felons are very dangerous and critical human beings to deal with, whether it is a relationship or any business. Hence, while dating a felon you have to be very cautious about that person and his intentions.

However, there are many criminals who want to live a normal and happy life after imprisonment but their numbers are very low. Hurdles of their past lives often make them commit some mistakes and crimes that push them towards reimprisonment. 

It is important to note that not all criminals are dangerous or exploit their partners to fulfill their intentions or wishes. Before dating a felon, you must analyze a few important points that are written below.

Nature Of Crime:

The nature of crimes can inform you a lot about someone’s behavior and character. Someone who was already imprisoned for several years for domestic violence and sexual assault, might not be safe for a relationship. 

On the contrary, a person associated with financial or property-related crimes might be a little safer for a relationship. However, it is always advised to check someone’s behavior and intentions very carefully before having a relationship with the person, especially if he is a felon.

Rehabilitation:

If you are aware that you are dating a criminal, you should learn about whether that person has taken steps to rehabilitate or change himself. Rehabilitation not only means imprisonment, but also includes therapy, education, good employment, or an anger management course. 

If a felon is trying to leave his past behind and improve himself as a good person to society, is less likely dangerous for a relationship. However, if he is a psychopath, who shows a falsely improved image of himself to find a partner, can be a dangerous person. 

Honesty:

A good person and partner will always maintain honesty and transparency with you. Felons most of the time are shy and not willing to express or discuss their past with people, even with their partners. 

If your criminal partner doesn’t want to discuss his past, present, or future with you, then there is a lack of transparency and honesty in that relationship. It eventually leads to negative consequences in the future. 

Behaviour:

According to many studies, criminals often have psychopathic traits in their behavior and they are often short-tempered. Hence, it is very important to observe their behavior and temperament carefully to understand if they are dangerous or not.

If your partner shows signs of maturity, kindness, and respect consistently in difficult situations, it indicates he has already taken steps towards a healthy life. On the contrary, if you find your partner has traits of aggression, manipulation, and dishonesty, it is better to exit from such a relationship.

Interventions:

It is always advised to maintain a clear boundary with your partner, especially in the beginning days if he is a certified criminal according to the judicial system. Often felons are insecure about their relationship and they interfere in their partner’s life and daily routine. 

Hence, it is always important to assess your comfort level in that relationship from time to time. In case, you are uncomfortable or insecure, it is advised to prioritize your wellbeing and safety and exit from the relationship.

Some criminals can be very dangerous for a relationship whereas others can be very careful and lovely for a romantic relationship. Hence, it is always advised to choose your partner carefully by remembering the above-written advice, communicating honestly, and following the 3-3-3 rules of dating before you decide to enter into a conscious relationship with a felon.

7 Signs That You Are Dating A Felon:

Most of the time felons are reluctant to share their past with their partners and try to be a mysterious person. However, in some cases, if the intention of the felons is honest, they reveal their past to their partners but at the later stages of the relationship. 

Hence, if your partner is a felon and doesn’t allow you to find out his secret, here are some tips that will help you to understand that you are dating a criminal. Remember, these are sensitive topics and you must approach your partner with proper planning and maturity.

Reluctant To Discuss The Past:

Your partner may always avoid discussing or talking about his past, especially before meeting you. He might be annoyed when you bring up such topics and eventually, he will try to divert those topics with vague or inappropriate answers.

People who are convicted by laws, often feel shy or awkward to share their past with others, even with their partners. Fear of judgment often works in individuals in such cases and if you listen to their answers carefully, you can feel they are hiding something from you.

Limited Job Profile:

If you look at your partner’s profile, you’ll find there is a very limited employment history. He might face a struggle to find work or be employed in a very low-salaried job despite having proper qualifications and skills.

People convicted of felonies often face struggles to find a suitable job as the employer most of the time checks the background of candidates and rejects those people who have a criminal background or history. Thus, felons have to work in low-paying jobs despite having adequate knowledge and skills.

Too Much Restrictions:

Your partners may have restricted travel and unexplained legal issues. He may not allowed to travel internationally or even domestically without informing authorities. He may go to courts and lawyers but he is reluctant to tell you the reasons.

Many laws put significant restrictions on travel on individuals in case of felonies, especially when they are on parole or probation. These conditions are necessary when someone is released on parole. Hence, he needs to go to such authorities from time to time to show his presence in that area, which may not be explainable to others.

Hesitation To Meet Families:

People convicted of felonies often hesitate to meet their families and also introduce you to their friends and families. They also maintain some privacy which they don’t want you to interfere such as they don’t want to take you to someplace where they regularly visit. 

Criminals often tend to avoid their partners from their friend circles to keep their dark pasts secret. They might have a tendency to avoid the discomfort of explaining their dark history and answer the counter questions from you. 

Anxious Behaviour:

Your partner may show anxious and overly cautious behavior in certain situations that might feel very unnatural to you. This may include opening a bank account, applying for loans, or going to a place where there are lots of crowds and police.

Such behavior often originates from the fear of their past experience which still haunts them. Maybe they are still afraid of getting imprisoned or being judged and discriminated for their past. Hence, they always try to stay away from places that can discriminate and hurt them emotionally such as banks, post offices, police stations, etc.

Unbelievable Knowledge Of Laws:

Due to proximity to legal systems, criminals often have lots of knowledge about the laws, legal processes, and prison lives. Such knowledge is exceptional for someone who never studied law or is not related to legal systems. 

This somehow indicates that the person has very well-defined knowledge and practical experience with legal systems and criminal laws. Thus, it is a potential sign that your partner has a close relationship with prisons and maybe also with felonies.

Limited Social Media Presence:

If you want to upload your image with your partner on social media and he opposes that, it means he wants to hide himself from others. Or maybe he is anxious that someone will recognize him as a criminal and inform his partner. 

Felons are often cautious about their social media presence as they don’t want to be trapped in legal battles anymore. Also, using social media and watching crime news can bring their past in front of them which they might want to forget forever.

If you notice any of the above signs, approach your partner with proper empathy and maturity. Judging someone by their past is not maturity especially if that person works hard to build a better present and future for himself and his partner. 

7 Reasons Why Dating A Felon Is A Bad Idea:

Dating a felon always brings new challenges and experiences in life. Understanding these concerns and challenges will help you tackle those problems and protect yourself from potential dangers.

Societal Stigma:

People and society often stigmatize family members if someone is associated with a felony conviction. This will lead to judgments from the whole society and sometimes people criticize or falsely allege them if something is wrong. As a partner, you may even receive criticism and disapproval for dating a criminal in many cases. 

Your dating and social life often give others an idea of your status or influence. Dating a felon definitely is not something that your close people or friends expect from you. 

Choosing someone with a criminal record often creates doubt about your character and intentions to the people. Although you have a good intention behind the relationship, be ready for a backlash before entering into the relationship.

Trust Issues:

Trust issues become very prominent when you are dating a felon as they are believed as mysterious and not trustworthy. You might have huge doubts about if your partner has changed or what is in his mind, if he is dangerous to you, etc.

Trust is the foundation of any relationship. If you don’t have trust in your partner, no relationship can survive. Hence, it is necessary to address such trust issues early on in the relationship but criminals depending on their situation and benefits often take a U-turn and it can harm both you and the relationship.

Legal and Financial Challenges: 

Criminals often face legal hurdles and financial challenges due to their bad reputations. It includes restrictions on traveling, other legal obligations, such as parole, going to courts, and financial difficulties such as finding employment, taking loans from banks, etc.

Such unwanted challenges often create stress in any relationship when he has to take most of the responsibilities of the family. Lack of financial stability and stress of legal matters often bring new challenges in families such as the inability to provide proper education to children, domestic violence, taking too much debt, etc.

Safety Issues:

The nature of the crime your felon partner has already committed is very much relevant to your safety in the relationship. If your partner is already convicted of domestic violence or sexual assault, then he might repeat those crimes on you. 

The nature of crimes also tells a lot about your partner, such as his personality, intentions, behavior, and trustworthiness. If you find your partner is a very dominating one and tends to become violent, you must ensure your safety first and seek help from professionals.

Emotional Trauma:

Criminals often have emotional trauma due to their past life experiences and work that continuously chase them all night. Thus they often suffer from anxiety, obsession, and depression. Being their partner, such anxiety and depression will also impact your life and feelings negatively. 

Emotional well-being is very much necessary for any relationship and if your partner is struggling to enjoy a happy life, it’ll affect their ability to commit fully to a relationship. Despite their wish, felons cannot trust others, even their partners and it’ll disappoint and depress you heavily. 

Family Dynamics: 

If your criminal partner has any children from his previous relationship, it can complicate your relationship dynamics to many extent. As felons often struggle to maintain their emotional and financial stability, they might seek your support in raising their children which will add extra financial and emotional burden to you.

Family dynamics are a very crucial part of making any relationship long-lasting. Although you accept his children as your own, there is a high possibility that your partner’s past and current unlawful behavior affect you and your children’s life drastically. 

The Risk Of Recidivism:

It is one of the most important yet very underrated issues you have to face while dating a felon. Many criminals take significant steps towards a normal and healthy life but under some circumstances, they return to the world of crime without caring about your feelings and expectations.

It is not always their fault they turn into the path of crime again. Sometimes lack of employment opportunities, financial troubles, and lack of support push them into the world of crime. Hence, never be sure that your partner has changed completely, maybe in certain situations he acts like a felon.

Hence, dating a felon is no easy task, you always need to open your ears and eyes to ensure your partner is on the right track. However, many criminals change with time completely but you cannot guarantee that for everyone. 

How To Deal With Criminals In A Relationship?

Criminals are kind of psychopaths as they often have such traits. You always need to deal with them smartly and without being too much emotional. Understand the nature and intention of your partner and then make a strategy to deal with him. You can click the link below and read more about how to deal with psychopaths in a relationship.

Also Read: Signs Of Dating A Psychopath: Top 8 Advice To Deal With Them

Effective Communication:

Encourage open and honest communication with your partner because it will help him to believe you. Ask your partner questions with proper empathy and curiosity about his past and future plans, it’ll make him feel good.

Transparency builds trust and if you show interest to know your partner without judgements, it’ll help him to understand that your care for him is real. Probably such a small act by you will force him to leave his past behind and move towards a healthy life. 

Educate Yourself:

Put efforts into learning more about criminals and their mentalities, how the nature of crimes relates to the personalities of criminals, What you can do if your felon partner tries to harm you, etc. Understanding the nature of crimes and criminals and the judicial system will help you to be aware of potential dangers and their solutions.

Knowledge is power. With proper knowledge, you can understand if you can change your partner and ensure a healthy life for him. Apart from that, knowledge about the nature of crimes and personality traits will help you to understand the mental condition and intentions of your partner. 

Set Clear Boundaries:

It is always advised to set a clear boundary with your partner in the starting days of the relationship as it can save you from your partner if he is a psychopath. Discuss your partner’s past actions and future plans without judgments but set a clear roadmap on what is acceptable in the relationship and what is not allowed.

Boundaries between partners are important in any relationship as it’ll give you personal space to maintain your individuality. This will also prevent you from being over-dependent on your partner and being exploited by him. Knowing the limits of the relationship, your felon partner may show some interest in curbing his illegal and unlawful actions. 

Support Rehabilitation:

Many felons want to change and live a normal life outside the prison. If your partner is one of them, support him and encourage him to be a normal person again. Therapies, consulting with psychiatrists, employment opportunities, and reconnecting with their families may help you in this process. 

Rehabilitation is a long and continuous process, thus you need to be patient. Your partner can get a better and sustainable future with your love, care, and support. This will also prevent the chance of recidivism that may push him again into a dark world.

Address Trust Issues:

Felons are often very anxious, and nervous, and have trust issues. If you notice there is any trust issue arises talk to your partner and solve it immediately. Remember, if you ignore such issues, it’ll create a huge mess in the relationship in later stages.

Trust is very essential for any relationship. With trust, you can solve many misunderstandings and foster sustainable growth in the relationship. If you cannot maintain open and effective communication, your criminal partner may take serious steps against you due to misunderstandings, which can result in a scorching earth approach in a relationship. 

Manage Social Stigma:

As mentioned above, if you are dating a felon, you have to be ready to accept social stigma and criticism to a huge extent. Be supportive of your partner and decide how you both together can handle such a difficult situation and live a happy life.

Dealing with social stigma is very difficult, especially when someone wants to forget about his past. If the judgments and criticisms are too much from the surroundings and there is no support, a felon can again enter into the world of crime to take revenge. 

Ask Professional Support:

If you feel necessary, don’t be shy or afraid to ask for professional support. You can visit therapists or lawyers for help, depending on the situation. If you have never faced such a difficult situation before, no surprise that you feel depressed. Hence, it is a better idea to consult a counselor and ask for advice. 

Always ensure and prioritize your well-being above the relationship, especially when you are dating a felon. If you think this relationship is harmful to you or your partner is a devil, you must consult a lawyer and seek legal help. Record every event and date with proof in case you need to submit them before the judges.

Can A Felon Be Changed?

Yes, a felon can be changed completely and live a normal life but the chance is very little. A study released in 2018 stated that among 401,288 state prisoners released in 2005, 1,994,000 of them were re-arrested during the 9 years. 

This study proves that a large chunk of felons may have tried to change but were unsuccessful and imprisoned again. Hence, changing a felon is extremely difficult, and in the long run, maybe your attempt to change them becomes unsuccessful.  

However, there are also some criminals who change completely over time and some factors that help them in this process are given below:

Rehabilitation:

Many felons stay in rehabilitation programs after their release which include therapy, education, vocational training, skill enhancements, and anger management. Such programs are designed to help the prisoners to enhance their skills and personality and prepare for a new journey.

Support System: 

A proper support system that includes family, children, friends, and other members who actually love and care for them, often helps to change a criminal completely by realizing the mistakes they have made previously. 

If you put the felons in a positive atmosphere surrounded by close people, it’ll be beneficial for them to understand and enhance their ability to change and focus on developmental works that benefit society.

Employment Opportunities:

Without proper employment opportunities, you cannot imagine a criminal will change. Employment makes a person busy and focused on a particular work that prevents them from committing crimes. 

Additionally, employment provides a better life, financial stability, and self-esteem that allow a criminal to live a crime-free life by moving forward. 

Desire For A Better Life:

The desire for a better and crime-free life is the most important factor because, without such intention, you cannot change a felon. 

After spending many years in prison, many criminals decide to adopt a new life that will be crime-free. Unfortunately, not everyone becomes successful in the new path as their desire is not strong enough to survive the challenges. 

Hence, it is possible to change a felon but not guaranteed. If you really want to change a criminal, you have to be very attentive, careful, and educated about his progress and intentions. You have to watch his actions very carefully like a mother keeps an eye on her child.

Also Read: 7 Signs You Are Dating a Red Flag Single Dad (Explained)

Also Read: 9 Tips To Move Forward In A Relationship After Being Cheated